9 lives…

“This concept just came to me as I was contemplating this blog post. I was thinking about how I could possibly write something from a position of empowerment or power or “I’ve got it all together” when I so don’t have it all together; I started thinking “but I’ve had it together before, what happened?”. In thinking about this I came to the realization that we never have “OUR LIFE” (I have capitalized this on purpose as though it is one big thing) together. My life, I realized, is actually a series of small lives… finite in their timing, variable in their composition, as different as they can be but all part of me. There is the lucky childhood, first born grandchild, spoiled, loved, encouraged, gifted, excelling. There is weird teenager, too big, too gawky, too round, called alternately “Chinese Chipmunk” or “Bigfoot” to whichever tiny, perfect blond bully was calling it out. There is the smart and engaging young adult, exploring her boundaries, expanding into a new culture through love, gathering “higher” education, choosing a career path and making plans for the future. There is the uber-organized, interior decorating, invitation-wielding, coupon clipping, fancy neighbourhood living, homeowner who always felt a little out of place. Then the new-divorcee, party attending, game for anything, wild child in your 30s, cougar enjoying everything that came her way (and then some!). Then there is the fun girlfriend, pushing him to leave his comfort zone, appreciative of his calming influence, cottage exploring, ATV riding, maturing woman. Then the hard playing, workout queen, bootcamping to buff-ness, grooving to greatness, dancing and travelling the world with conscious truth warriors, zen-ing ourselves to awesomeness and yet, still feeling a little un-cool. Then there is the hard-working, dedicated employee, engaged mature masters student, appreciated faculty member of an allied health college who LOVES her cat a little too much (some may say) and loves her nephews even more (if that is possible!). And now…. Who am I? While I am onto my 9th life… thankfully, I am not a cat… this is not my “last” life. What does the next life hold? I don’t know…. I am moving forward, looking for my next direction, seeking clarity through movement, through connections, through people who listen and reflect to me what I am saying, being open to what is next. It is a little confusing and perhaps a little scary if I honour the choices in front of me, but it is what it is… my next life. Stay tuned to see what unfolds!!”

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